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Amnesia 7
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Amnesia - Issue 07 (1991-11-23)(Eclipse).adf
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telecom-raid
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1989-05-09
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5KB
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98 lines
** ECLIPSE RAID TELECOM **
The Group of Crusaders for righteous justice (ECLIPSE) Stood outside
Telecom's HQ.They increased the local rate one too many times and
pushed Eclipse Beyond the limit of tolerance.GAZZER Stood in the
shadows holding a bag of high powered explosive devices (fireworks)
cunningly made into a small bomb.ZED looked at the dark building and
wondered if anyone ever went inside,true enough he'd seen a rather
nice woman sitting at a desk holding a telephone but she never seemed
to put that phone down.Hmm.
Gary rigged up the explosive and took some
steps back.Hmm nothing happened,"Enough of this fucking shit" screamed
ZED as he ran through the glass door cutting himself and laughing.
MERLIN cut the alarm wires (well all the wires he could see) with his
magical elven sword which he called "SLASH" and constantly talked to.
the crusaders of righteous justice (who didn't want high phone bills)
stomped into the building.they approached the high desk and peered
over.behind the desk there was a door marked "PRIVATE"."Aha the cursed
runes of evil" Merl ranted.just as KURGAN was stepping over the high
desk the team heard strange footsteps behind them.
When the crusaders
for ..... turned around they were faced with a dark figure wearing a
black denim jacket."Sorry i'm late dudes" the figure said.Ah it was
only CREED and not some spaced out acid head who lives in rush and
throws mad parties in his home.............or was it?Well when CREED
and ZED finished a strange conversation in French they decided it was
getting late and the pubs would be closing soon so they better open the
door.After MERLIN wasted an hour searching for traps on the door,they opened
it and walked inside.It was dark and since MERLIN cut the bloody electrical
wires outside their was no way to see.Luckily ZED brought along some petrol
to douse on kurgans back and light him up.Ahh much better,now the crusaders
could see.
After going up 3 flights of stairs MERLIN (Who was elven and had
good eyesight) found a door marked "This is where the Boss dwelleth" well
it actually said Managing Director but who cares?Unfortunatly KURGAN was
not very flamable and 'went out' so to speak,Very quickly.They had no
other choice but to put the contents of MERLINS secret bottle of Malibu
on KURGANS hands."Watch my expensive gold watch lads" KURGAN asked as
his hands were set ablaze.
MERLIN went into the Boss' lair first (He had
one of KURGANS hands of course) and searched for traps.Aha he found a
strange ticking beast on the Boss' Desk.As MERLIN found the strange
ticking beast first he could attack first.Instead of attacking MERLIN
slipped on "The one Ring" (A Plastic ring he found in the street) the
ring was a ring of invisibility and MERLIN thought he disappeared.The
strange ticking beast suddenly stopped its demonic chant for a pico
second and exploded.And with a cloud of smoke and a bang MERLIN....
Disappeared!
GAZZER wondered why half the building exploded so he
walked into what was left of the room.A large picture of GREEN BERET was
hanging on the wall and a small plaque underneath it said:
"BARRY O' DONNELL--Best Customer 1988-????"
GAZZER decided to head down to the pub and shag the whole thing.And as
faith and time might have it the others miraculously agreed with him.
PLEASE NOTE:MERLIN was later Resurrected by a 20th level Cleric and
is now reading "The lord of the rings"......Again.
NOTE NUMBER 2:I was going to write something about a pump-action weapon
concealed under ZED'S trench coat but in the interests of public decency
i left that out.ZED..ZED please calm down and don't petrol bomb my house
again,i will pay you insurance money every week.
NOTE NUMBER 3:It seems a lot of articles are typed when someone is pissed
out of their skull,i however was completely pissed out of my skull when i
wrote this having consumed a can of club shandy and canada dry,in one
night as well!!!
NOTE NUMBER 7:Well done Gary for that COOL Selector thing on AMNESIA 6.
you know the disk that spins around,it was so good i just kept spinning
the disc for an hour or two before reading the zine what jolly fun for
all the family!
NOTE NUMBER 1354765335:Well hey if you're not an ECLIPSE MEMBER or GREEN
BERET and you're reading this then that means i didn't get pissed on a
club shandy and spend saturday night typing this for nothing!!!!
NOTE NUMBER 123435465645:GAZZER--Sorry for waking you up!
NOTE NUMBER 5653217647536643:Sorry about the shitty capslock.
NOTE NUMBER 5653217647536643.1:It's Okay PETER, I spent a while getting
rid of your Capslocking Key Presses, I think you're now cured!!
WELL ASTA LA VEE-STA BAEBI
TYPED BY---------------------------- PETER!